Moira Tuscanaro: A Cat’s Philosophy of Cooking

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It is Spring, dear ones! And after sifting through the many questions you humans have sent me I find there is one most preponderant, and it is this we will discuss today! Prrrrrrrrrr.

The question is: Moira, why don’t you Cats like to cook?

And I must tell you, this question is about as appealing to me (and therefore to all Cats) as raw asparagus.

Eck eck eck eck. Excuse me.

A Cat’s Philosophy of Cooking is simple. It is based on the fact that we are capable of living in the wild and by our wits. We do not need cookbooks or Ph.D’s to assist us through life (no, not in any of the nine we have!) and most certainly we set the table for nobody!

Why don’t we cook?

1. We do not have to. Meow.

2. Do you really think we want to wash dishes? We do have a nice rough tongue but it is better used to groom our lovely coats.

3. Humans need to have something they can feel good about. Most of them simply can not hunt as we can! Purrrrrrrrrrr.

4. We cats are Thinkers, not Workers.

5.  We do not cook for the same reason we do not bother to get married and stick a gold ring on our paws. Once you start doing this sort of thing you can end up having someone expecting you to do it endlessly while putting up with some of the silliest behavior on earth such as saying all is well and lovely while your spouse is spraying the intern in the Oval Office while at the same time he is pretending to be President. We are not politicians, we Cats. Eck eck eck!

Please feel free to e-mail me with any questions, dearies! Now just scratch behind my ear, right there. That’s right! Purrrrrrrr.

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5 thoughts on “Moira Tuscanaro: A Cat’s Philosophy of Cooking

  1. I’m not going to coax my cat to eat asparagus until I’ve finished teaching her how to read. Right now, I simply threaten her with asparagus for dinner when she doesn’t do her lessons.

  2. I know one cat that likes his food cooked. That would be Garfield. I doubt he would eat raw lasagna!

    My cat was allergic to asparagus. She would sneeze for hours. Like most, the effects never seemed to deter her…she was “GREAT” at washing dishes too! Lickey split they were like new!

  3. Mew. Mew. Your cat can already read, dearie! She simply chooses to pretend that she can not. Have you found books open at times that you knew you had closed? Yes. Meow. Now you know.

    Louise, we only clean dishes for those humans we approve of! Purrrrrrrrr.

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